Regardless of if you aspire to be an influencer or not, stepping into your next level self and fully expressing your gifts will require a degree of exposure (and at times, vulnerability).
In today's episode, I am sharing five tactics that I have personally used to move thru the fear of being seen.
**All my fellow mamas out there: I am a potty-mouth, so you may want to listen with headphones on!**
If you found this episode helpful it would mean the world to me if you could share it with a friend or screenshot this episode on your phone, upload it to Instagram stories and tag me (@designingvibes). This podcast is not monetized, so spreading the word is the best way to "pay me back" for my time and wisdom- so to speak.
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/designingvibes/
Website:
designingvibes.com
Pinterest:
https://www.pinterest.com/designingvibes/
Email:
info@designingvibes.com
Regardless of if you aspire to be an influencer or not, stepping into your next level self and fully expressing your gifts will require a degree of exposure (and at times, vulnerability).
In today's episode, I am sharing five tactics that I have personally used to move thru the fear of being seen.
**All my fellow mamas out there: I am a potty-mouth, so you may want to listen with headphones on!**
If you found this episode helpful it would mean the world to me if you could share it with a friend or screenshot this episode on your phone, upload it to Instagram stories and tag me (@designingvibes). This podcast is not monetized, so spreading the word is the best way to "pay me back" for my time and wisdom- so to speak.
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/designingvibes/
Website:
designingvibes.com
Pinterest:
https://www.pinterest.com/designingvibes/
Email:
info@designingvibes.com
Welcome to the introverted influencer podcast. I'm your host, Erica. Vanke my soul's mission on this planet is to help fellow introverts grow their online influence and estate, a feminine flow and ease while battling the woes of depression, anxiety, and even mom guilt. I've somehow managed to build a six-figure blog without the use of social media and without sacrificing my mental health, if I can do it, you can too. Hello and welcome back to episode 23 of the introverted influencer podcast. I am so glad you are here, and if you are joining me for the first time, I hope today's message will be of great value to you. So last weekend I was having this awesome lazy Sunday morning with my husband, which is pretty awesome because if you guys have been following along with the previous episode, I've been going through some really stressful times. So waking up without any anxiety and just feeling liked and airy, and like the worst is behind me kind of vibe. And then I make the mistake of looking in my DMS and was shocked to find this really nasty message in response to one of my Insta stories, where someone was just straight up attacking my physical appearance, being really nasty and hurtful. And at that very moment, this wave of adrenaline just washed over me. And my first impulses was to reply back to this person and tell them what a piece of they were to attack a woman's appearance like that. But first of all, you know, I'm too Noma stay for that kind of response. And secondly, because I'm Noma stay, I can realize that this is just a hurting individual and there's not gonna be any sort of reasoning with a person that just randomly goes around insulting women and being hurtful. So I was able to pause, take a deep breath and then bless and block this person because I refuse to interact or perpetuate any of that low vibe sort of energy. Now, while I would love to say that I was just able to move on with my day and forget about it. Once I've blocked and blessed, I'm not gonna lie. I had some major anxiety start to brew in the pit of my stomach, by like my mind started to race with just all these nonsense thoughts. Like maybe it's really not safe to show up and be seen anymore, or that maybe I've been too vulnerable. Maybe it would be smart to just retreat and go into hiding and never show my face. Again. The funny thing is though for the seven years that I've been blocking, blocking blogging, I have only had to deal with a very small handful of haters. So I think when I actually do get any hate, it's just really shocking to my system because I'm not used to interacting with people like that because most of the people that come into my work filled three of my blog or social platforms are amazing, loving, just incredibly encouraging individuals. But all that being said, I thought today, since this is all fresh on my mind would be a great opportunity for me to turn limes into margaritas and let this be a lesson that I share on this episode of how I shifted from that momentary fear of being seen back to the fearless and often very vulnerable digital content creator that I was put on this earth to be. So I just kind of wanna like share some kind of bullet points of how I worked through this fear when I had the hater. And I thought, Ugh, I don't know if I can be seen again. So first of all, I just had to call these fearful thoughts out for what they were and not become them. They are thoughts. They are not of me. They are just passing thoughts and they're irrational and nonsensical at that. Why on God's green earth? Would I let one nasty comment, stop me from my mission on this planet. Secondly, I had to call myself out for doing that thing. All humans do where you can receive like a hundred compliments, but then you get one critique and that's all you can focus on is that one negative response That's that's silliness. I had to recognize that silliness for what it was, but even most importantly, here's the wooooo part<laugh> is that I had to transmute my reaction of fear and low vibe energy back to truth, my truth, at least because I know that there are infinite parallel realities, but I like to dwell in the place where love is the law and love rolls. All. I had to get myself back to a heart centered paradigm where I know people need and are more than ready to receive who I am as an authentic individual and the content and the messages that I have to offer. I had to get back to this place where I fully trust and know That my work benefits the lives of others. And if I don't show up because of some unchecked fear or one stupid little DM, that I'm actually doing everyone a disservice, because here's the thing, we all have a mission and a purpose on this planet. And regardless of if you wanna be an influencer or not expressing your gifts and stepping into the fullness of who you are, will require some level of exposing yourself and being seen and even being vulnerable at times. So if you were experiencing some sort of resistance to showing up and being seen, we're gonna need to nip that in the bud right now. Okay.<laugh> so one strategy that I film helpful is just to, I like to journal I'm the journal queen, but basically to just address those worst case scenario, scenarios of being seen, just head on and instead of trying to suppress them or trying to pretend that they don't exist, actually envision what you would, how you would handle that worst case scenario, if it did come into fruition. And so for me, I already have a policy on haters, which I, I, I called the lesson block. So I've rehearsed. What would happen If I did get a hateful comment? So I knew how to respond. You respond, but go through your list. What would be, you know, your worst, the worst thing that could happen to you, if you did allow yourself to show up on a greater level and be seen, okay, so maybe you get that occasional troll or criticism, but did it kill you? Sure. It may not feel great for an hour or so, but life goes on and you will too. I believe it was. I think it was a book I had read years ago, um, by Joel Ostein. But he talks about this interesting study where the population is broken down into like four categories. So 25% of people you encounter are gonna love you, no matter what 25% of them are, they'll have to be convinced. They're gonna be on the fence. 25% will wanna hate you, but they'll be swayed. And then the other 25%, well, there's nothing you can do because they're gonna hate you no matter what. And so just by acknowledging that this is just part of being human and it has nothing to do with, you will take some of the sting out of any criticism, But I'm sure that most of your fears are just irrational or you're just making them a lot bigger in your head than they truly are. In reality. Another tactic that I have found really helpful, I actually just did this before recording. This podcast is just being really intentional about your energy before you show up or before you present or before you post. So I like to get in a quiet space, put my hands on my heart, focus on that heart centered energy, do some slow controlled breathing. And then I like to do a prayer and it goes a little something like thank you God, for allowing me to be a vessel of love and hope. Thank you that my message will be received by those that need to hear it. And if there's anything in particular that you need me say, please have the words just flow out in a way that resonates and serves others. Amen. If prayer is not your thing, you can always work with some sort of affirmation. Maybe, you know, you have to kind of once again, journal it out to see what sticks and what really resonates, but it may, it may go something like my work and my message is greatly needed by others. Every time I allow myself to show up and be seen, I am infusing the world with hope and love. People resonate with my unique perspective, play around with it. But the gist here is to remove the focus from yourself and make it about being of service to others. Because even if you aren't trying to be mother Teresa here, abundance is essentially just an energetic exchange. So to be of high service is to be of high worth in whatever you do. One more way that I like to work through the haters is by referring back to reference experiences. So The one way that I have built the system up is to actually save all of my positive feedback, like positive comments, positive emails, DMS reviews, et cetera. I save it all in a digital folder so that I can have handy for those days. And I just, I kind of forget why I'm doing what I'm doing. And this is one great way that I've been able to boost my morale. But even if you don't have a digital folder of positive DMS to work with, you can still go back, take yourself back to just times when people have shared their support for you, or have presented to you, beautiful words, that they resonate with you in what you do. And, and they've got your back. That always helps. At the end of the day, you have to just realize that you cannot and will not be everybody's cup of tea. And the only person you need to worry about impressing is your self because carrying out your unique mission in this lifetime is far more important than being liked, period. So to wrap it up a few ways to work through fears of being seen number scene, number one, recognize that most of your fears are irrational. Number two, address, worst case scenarios, head on and have some sort of contingency plan. Number three, learn to savor the positive feedback and stop over exaggerating the criticism. Number four, get your energy and your or filled right before showing up and presenting number five. It's your job to just continually shift back to a paradigm of love. And if all else fells, remember the in infamous Eleanor Roosevelt quote, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. You gotta just learn to love yourself. That's all it comes down to at the end of the day. Well, that's all I've got today. I hope this message resonated with you. Thank you so much for sharing another episode another week with me. And it would mean the world. If you could pay it forward by giving the show a five star review on whatever podcast platform you use or by screenshotting this episode on your phone, uploading it to your Insta stories and tagging me in it at designing bugs, sending you my love.