Introvert or not, the state of our society has forced us all into insolating predicaments over the past few years.
In today's episode, I am sharing how to transmute those painfully lonely times into pure effing gold, baby.
I am also sharing a few instances where introversion has proven to be a superpower in my business.
**All my fellow mamas out there: I am a potty-mouth, so you may want to listen with headphones on!**
If you found this episode helpful it would mean the world to me if you could share it with a friend or screenshot this episode on your phone, upload it to Instagram stories and tag me (@designingvibes). This podcast is not monetized, so spreading the word is the best way to "pay me back" for my time and wisdom- so to speak.
Welcome to the introverted influencer podcast. I'm your host Erica van. Like my soul's mission on this planet is to help fellow introverts grow their online influence and estate , a feminine flow and ease while battling the lows of depression, anxiety, and even mom guilt. I've somehow managed to build a six figure blog without the use of social media and without sacrificing my mental health, if I can do it, you can too . Hey, Hey. Hey, you beautiful soul. You. Thank you so freaking much for tuning in this week today marks episode 10, and I cannot believe the shy introvert with a crippling fear of public speaking has made it this far. This podcast is still out of my comfort zone, but when I hear the encouraging feedback I do like on last week's episode on dealing with failures and flops in business that's episode nine, it makes all of the discomfort so worth it. So thank you so much for taking this time out of your busy life, to connect with me and let me know how you're liking this show. And if you missed last week's episode, you should definitely go back and check it out because I have had some really great responses from that one. So for this week, given the hell of the past two years, we've been through with, you know what, like I'm sick of the word. I'm sick of talking about it really, but I want to discuss a topic that I believe will be relevant to everyone, even if you aren't necessarily an I, most of us have been through some really isolating times within the past few years. So even though I've titled this episode, why introversion can be a super power at the end of the day, it's not about , um, you saying extroverts are wrong, introverts are right. It's really just all about learning how to transmute lonely times and finding the power and being by yourself, whether it's self-induced or not. While I have , I've definitely gone through some really lonely times in life. I didn't always have the best coping mechanisms, so I would turn to substances or binge eating to help me get through those hard times. That was my comfort. But when I became pregnant with my second child, I, gosh, I had a one year old and I had just moved out to the suburbs and moved away from most of my friends at the time. That's when we bought our fixer upper , that my blogs about . And I had just lost my grandmother who was very near and dear to me. And the loneliness was just unbearable. And I think it was probably amplified by like pregnancy hormones. And I might have even been still going through like postpartum from my a first son, but gosh, you know, it was so tough because I couldn't turn to alcohol because I was pregnant. So I had, I was forced to learn how to channel that angst and loneliness and depression in a healthy manner. I had no option. And so that was how my blog was founded. Really. It was me deciding that I was no longer going to repeat self destructive patterns in moments of discomfort. And I was going to learn how to transmute my pain into beauty figur, and literally, so from this place of loneliness and depression, I poured myself into this creative outlet and I, my blog grew, I would say relatively fast because I had no distractions. I couldn't numb out with booze. I really didn't wanna numb out with food either because I had gained so much weight with my first pregnancy and I didn't have any social life. So I found comfort in expressing my creative gifts fast forward six years. And I've realized that I do need some companionship from other women and other mothers. I know my husband cannot be my everything. So I kind of veered a little too far in the other direction in , after all of the lockdown and isolation. During those times I was ready to go out and make friends. And I did, and it's been great for me in so many ways, but it got to the point where I was kind of priorit my social life over my blog a little too much. And I was starting to feel like I'd lost my creative edge a bit and all of this to say that I see now, because I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I am naturally an inter introvert for sure, but I've been a loner and now I have a group of friends. And so I can see now where being an, a art can be a super power or even times of loneliness. There can be beauty if you are a creative or if you wanna accomplish big goals in your life , um, because you really have the quiet time to reflect on your life, what you really want out of life. And you have more time to cultivate your unique ideas and gifts. And another thing I've noticed about being an introvert, but being surrounded by mostly extroverts is that introverts, we tend not to get too wrapped up in the people pleasing and, you know, climbing the social ladder as much because we don't have many people to impress or to even fear judgment from because we kind of just do our own thing. So we don't have all of that , um, social pressure. And we can just put our heads down and, and do the work and not even really worry too much about, you know, that trap of what will they think of me. So now that I've been really social and gotten into that kind of phase of my life, now that my kids are they're kindergarten in second grade. So I've had more time to get myself back together, get a social life. But I realized , like I said, I felt like I was losing my creative edge a little bit. So this year I made the conscious decision to establish better boundaries with people again, and try to, to make sure that on a weekly basis, I am scheduling in time alone where I don't talk to anybody. I don't have any distractions and I can just be with my thoughts. And I feel like sometimes you just really have to be bored to cultivate your creativity. Anyhow, that's where it comes from, because I know my creativity is definitely not found what I'm scrolling a more on Instagram or getting a mesh with other people's drama. So if you are going through one of these lonely phases of life, and I would definitely say that mother motherhood can be one of the most isolating predicaments ever ask yourself, am I coping with my loneliness in healthy ways, by taking up a hobby or channeling that extra energy into bettering myself and my life start circumstances? Or am I wasting that energy with numbing behaviors like social media or shopping aimlessly or drinking two bottles of wine every night at our primitive human core, we are all wired for connection introvert or not. But if we cannot find that connection through another human being for circumstances beyond our control, or just because for introverts, we can find some form of connection through creative expression, spiritual connection, or even nature. Everything you need is within you CIS and this lonely time will pass. I promise if you want it to, I mean, you can, you can just be a loner too, but at the end of the day, I don't think that is entirely healthy, but make the most of these isolating times by working on you, boo, because no one else can do it for you. You gotta do the work yourself. Thank you so much for tuning in this week. I make no money from this podcast. So the best way to pay me back so to speak is by leaving me a five star review, sharing the show with a friend or screenshotting this episode on your phone and uploading it to your Insta stories and tagging me at designing bobs, Sending you my love.